BREATHING THROUGH ADVERSITY

By Charu Khurana Bhadrish
May 10, 2021

Coping with shortness of breath

Being covid positive, the hospital had demarcated a special time of middle of the night, for getting my CT scan done. To be specific, it was 2:45 am. Running short of breath and high fever for now more than 3 days, all doctors advised me to get this test done urgently else they cannot prescribe the right medications / course of action.

Now, being short of breath, meant that as long as I was doing deep breathing, lying stomach down or on my left side, I was able to keep my O2 levels above 92 and remain in my senses. Going to the hospital for a test on the other hand, meant that I would have to be in upright position – walking first to the car and then from the car to the CT Scan room – with any waiting period if required in the middle.

Standing or sitting meant that I was unable to draw complete breaths. And walking meant an added exertion on my shortness of breath.

In any case, I mustered the courage and went for the test.

I survived the test. Felt very proud of my feat. And came back to lie down on my bed. And that’s when the worst of the adversities hit.

The ultimate adversity: O2 levels plummet!

I couldn’t find my breath. At all. Neither by lying on my stomach, nor on my side. I checked my O2 levels – 84.

All my educated sense told me – this was a PANIC situation. However, as an informed citizen and one to already be in queue… I knew there was no oxygen cylinder available nor any bed at any hospital nor any ambulance on call. At 3:00 am there was little that anyone could help me with.

Of all coping mechanism that I must have ever read about, I recollected all that I had understood about Adversity Quotient in one of the LBB

(@livesbeyondboundaries) workshops. A quotient that was not only an oscillating figure, but a figure that one had the power of manipulating and taking from 0 to 100.

Channelize through CORE: Control. Ownership. Reach. Endurance.

It was at this time that I decided to take full accountability for my situation. And convinced myself – I GOT THIS.

1. 1. Time to show Control: If there was anyone who could help me right now – IT WAS ME. I was in control of my own response to the situation. I decided to stay calm. I put on some calming meditative music and only concentrated on drawing my breath and releasing it to the best of my capacity
2. 2. Ownership: Sharing this situation with anyone at that time, would have meant reducing the accountability on myself and going back to hope or dependency on someone else for finding any improvement. And how could they or their added stress help when nothing was available? Hence, kept the information to myself.
3. 3. Reach: Within and not outside. Just focus. Do not overthink or over visualize what is happening right now. Take it one breath at a time and with every draw of breath – try and make it stronger, hold for longer, release slowly.
4. 4.Endurance: How long do I need to do this for? I told myself ‘this is going to take time’. So I gave myself 30-45 whole minutes. Which meant approximately 6-7 songs. Don’t count the breaths. Count the songs. Do not get hassled about how many breaths I am managing. Just focus on every single one – independently.

At the end of 30 minutes, I checked my O2 levels. 91. And that was enough for me to know that… 

I REALLY GOT THIS!

Not only was this experience very deep for me at the time, but I also know that it will stay with me and help me to deal with anything life throws my way. The general tendency is to fight or flight. It is all too easy to give up or succumb to the negativities that our minds are so full of – thanks to news, social media and various kinds of fears surrounding us. However, by employing the power of Adversity Quotient and taking FULL “accountability” for myself, I was able to channelize all my positivity, faith and energy into figuring out an effective way out – that would work uniquely for me. For me, it was not about choosing between dependency and independency. It is not that I thought dependency as a sign of weakness. Rather, it is was about embracing independency – as a sign of strength, control and power to endure.

At these times when every other person is struggling to cope, I hope my share inspires some kind of confidence and power to people – to know and discover their own unique way through their very own personal crisis... and be able to say “I GOT THIS”.